Information just for you.

You think she’s pregnant. Not sure what to do?

The two of you can get through this. She needs you now more than ever. You should be there for her with the emotional and physical support she needs. Here are some tips on how you do this. First, come in with her for a free pregnancy testing, and meet with a volunteer client advocate to talk about it. Remember, you can talk about all your options, and you don’t have to go through this alone.

Here’s some quick advice that may be of benefit to you right now:

The Do’s

• Listen: the situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
• Stay calm: she needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
• Talk about it: not only with each other but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.
• Gather the facts: get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for you both.
• Be honest: it’s normal to have feelings of anger, frustration, and fear, but make sure she knows she is not alone.
• Dedicate yourself to the welfare of your partner and baby: One of the first things men often say in these situations is “I’m not ready to be a father.”  You may not have had a healthy role model in your own father, or maybe you never even knew your father – so how are you supposed to know how to be a dad?  Learn what it means to be a good father and to empower yourself to become the man you want to be.

The Don’ts

• Don’t bail: the more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
• Don’t pressure her: applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. Both of you would do well to work as a team.
• Don’t forget: you have a very active role in this situation. Listen to input as well as give your thoughts.

Men can often be the forgotten person in an unintended pregnancy. Yes, she may make the final decision about the pregnancy, but as the baby’s father, you share in the responsibility for that choice.